This next paragraph makes me sound like a diva.

First and foremost I have been so busy with Blithe Spirit, the play I’m in. I have been trying to take being a lead seriously and concentrate on nothing else. I have to be perfectly honest in saying that the experience has been frustrating. This is my first time being a real lead lead, so this is all new for me, and I’m being treated as if I am the old veteran. There have been some line learning issues and beginner problems for the entire cast, I feel like I already have so much on my plate I cant deal with anything less than spectacular from my fellow actors. I know that is a lot to ask. But it all comes back to the point that I am very insecure about my own abilities even on my best day, so any other problems are just kicking I’m when I’m down. I am a hash critic of acting, directing, and art and its weird to have my ass on the line for once. I’m just supposed to be the funny supporting character, if the show is bad, that’s not my bad. But now it is. I have a lot of anxiety about it.

Moreover, I have had some serious doubts about acting lately. To begin with IT’S FUCKING HARD. I have to sit back and ask myself why I am doing such a thing. Why am I being someone else? Do I just like being the center of attention? I have the distinct feeling that I do love performing, but this traditional linear story telling just to amuse. I want to get people to feel something, I want it to mean something, I don’t want to do it for vanity, but most theatre and film and entertainment lately is like 90% for the performers sake. I’m just very confused and angst ridden about the whole matter.

I am almost done with all my DUI shit, I should have my license back in about a month. I have actually started enjoying my mandatory DUI group meetings, if I have to pay for them and go, I am damn well going to get something out of them. I talk and call people on their bullshit excuses. I sort of wonder if  would maybe like to be a drug and alcohol counselor, I know that sounds ridiculous, but the topic of addiction and recovery interests me and I am not going to be a doctor, and I have had always had a special place in my heart for the seedy characters who inhabit such places. Just a thought.

I applied at a couple wineries in Livermore, but as time passes and other opportunities arise  I begin to think of the impossible and the stupid adventurous ideas. More pipe dreams and unintelligent plans from Devin Ritchie.

This is why I haven’t been blogging, I haven’t been able to form cogent thoughts, and really have nothing important to say. Not to say that anything I have ever wrote is important.

Last time we checked in ignoring my life and running off to Vegas, the next weekend I went to South Lake Tahoe with my brother Kyle, Rachel, and Josh. Basically doing the exact same thing again. Except being in debt to my brother now.

I have been being a good boy all of 2011 besides those two indiscretions I don’t party or drink as much. I have been single and abstinent the whole year, I have not even thought of relationships or anything in a long time. But I did kinda hang out with someone over the weekend. So we shall see. I’m really bad at these sort of things.

I am just at a loss for what to do after this show is over. I will have no Sacramento obligations. I am actively not auditioning for shows in the area just for that reason. Right now, I am just getting back to working out, finishing this show up, getting license back, and then….??

Bettin on the ponys with Jenny!

Casey Worthington had his “Not 4th of July Party”, it’s exactly what you think it is. It was real fun, but one of those times when being drunk during the day gets away from you… On a similar note; I have had anger and patience issues recently. It is well documented that Ritchies can have a bit of a temper problem, and they may be catching up with me. I just need to chill more. I’m sure the hotel concierge and the “deck supervisor” at the pool at my gym aren’t really as stupid as they seem, and even if they are, no sense in being mean to them. Oh yeah! I joined a gym! Sexy DURING summer. hell yeah, I have been working out like everyday ^_^

John Farnsworth’s parents were out of town this week so I hung out there a lot this week. It’s good to just have a place where friends can gather like that with no agenda. We go to the river. We drink. We swim at someones pool. We smoke. We hang out. We go out. I live a very relaxed life. I should not have the stress to lash out at fat gingers who are apparently just paid to sit by a pool and tell people not to run and not help people if they are in need. also he has blonde eyebrows. wierd. people who don’t deserve it.

I have been doing a lot of odd jobs making money, and it keeps me afloat more than usual. but its not enough to save or contribute quite enough. Still job hunting.

Yesterday was another friends going away party, the 3rd in the last week. Times are changing and people are moving. and still a few more are moving including Ruth. But I have known that people were going to leave me. What hurt, was hearing that Michael Sunshine and his girlfriend Ella up and moved from Davis to Seattle. I found this out when I texted him about partying. Michael is one of my core friends from Livermore and we don’t see each other too often, but I have always liked having him so close just in case. I have always had the feeling that everyone else is growing up and I’m not. Most my friends from high school have real good jobs and are in serious relationships. It’s that moment in life when you realize there are a bunch of grown ups at your party. And that’s what they have become. I have always felt belittled by living my type of life. I don’t judge them, and really I’m not even mad. The reality is I feel like I lost a cornerstone of my building. In other words, shit just got real.

To add to this dejected feeling, I went and hung out with Tim and Maggie Muldoon who’s older brother got married in Davis last weekend. The epitome of growing up. Naturally we try to see each other as much as we can. So they invite me to all the pre-wedding shenanigans and parties and such. Problem is, I’m not invited to the wedding and just end up being kinda embarrassed being there at all. “That’s just Maggie and Tim’s friend who is here to party”. That’s reall not who I want to be. I left. Again I understand it, and am not mad. This is just the situation I am living. People are growing up and they need to, but they still like me to be their party vacation from life. Honestly it’s shit like this that motivates me more than anything.

moral of the story: Not seeing Peter Pan makes you want to grow up.

Oh yeah, and I’m BLONDE now

peace

I have been out nearly every night either at some club like, club 21, Faces, or Badlands. Or just at some party. I know I have said it before, but I gotta slow my role.

Even with all the partying socializing and dating. I have stayed focused on Sexy by Summer and Philadelphia Story. Ruth and I have been running most days and that has been working out. Rehearsals for Philly have been going on and they have been great! I am having a lot of fun with it. I think its going to be so good!

I have also been casually dating. (Oh, I double checked and I am DEFINITELY single now.) And nothing is all that promising. In fact I think I need a break from it all. I need some Devin time

Now for the dramz… This is legitimately the first time in my life that my Mom and I are not getting along. Which is weird for us, were practically like Lorelei and Rory Gilmore. I wont get into all the details. But our relationship has been strained recently. My theory is that it has to do with the house dynamic being different ever since my Grandma moved in. We both determined that its about time I moved out. That was hard to hear. I dont know when, where, or how. But it is time that I am a big boy. I am 22 and a half.

I need to shake something up hard. I have got myself into a fabulous rut in a place I never wanted to call my home. What’s the next step guys? I’m lost.

peace

The worst picture of me ever taken.

Oh my god, is that what I look like??? eeew, Devin. Not only is it just an unflattering picture, I am literally surrounded by cake and soda. Bad form. What happened to me? I was never super duper fit, but I was always very thin at least. I realize that I am getting older and am going to have to start thinking about my diet and health a bit more before it gets bad. I started thinking about it watching Celebrity Fit Club, and if Kevin Federline could get that fat, it could happen to me!

Heres the plan Sexy by Summer. I’m talking abs, tan, working out, the whole package. And it starts now. First things first, less drinking, and a lot less beer. It’s all empty calories. Starting this week I will start running the track before classes.

(just to be clear, I wasnt really myself when this was taken. I was feeling awfully out of it, hungry, lazy and giggly…)

SEXY BY SUMMER. Lets do this.

peace.