day 02 – your least favorite song
Bad Day- Daniel Powter

day 03 – a song that makes you happy
In Ohio on Some Steps- Limbeck

day 04 – a song that makes you sad
Jenny Was a Friend Of Mine – The Killers

day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone
Islands in the Stream- Kenny Rodgers and Dolly Parton

day 06 – a song that reminds you of somewhere
You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling- Righteous Brother

day 07 – a song that reminds you of a certain event
Butterfly Woman -Chic Gamine

day 08 – a song that you know all the words to
Confessions Part 2- Usher

day 09 – a song that you can dance to
Toy Soldier- Britney Spears

day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep
Brothers on a Hotel Bed – Deathcab for Cutie

day 11 – a song from your favorite band
Mother Nature’s Son – Beatles (performed by Jack White here.)

day 12 – a song from a band you hate
Photograph- Nickelback

day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure
Zac Efron – Bet On It (High School Musical 2)

day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love
What was I Thinkin-Dierks Bently

day 15 – a song that describes you
Tightrope-Yeasayer

day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate
Alejandro- Lady Gaga

day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio
Blow- Ke$ha

day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio
Bela Lugosis Dead- Bauhous

day 19 – a song from your favorite album
Blackbird- The Beatles (white album)

day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry
Wont Back Down- Eminem

day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy
Nightswimming- R.E.M.

day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad
Tiger Mountain Peasant Song- Fleet Foxes (cover)

day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding
Make You Feel My Love- Adele

day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
Trapeze Swinger – Iron and Wine

day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
Das Racist – Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell

day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
Time of Your Life- Greenday

day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
Regina Spektor- Chemo Limo

day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
Against All Odds – Postal Service (Phil Collins cover)

day 29 – a song from your childhood
Where The Streets Have No Name- U2

day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year
Dog Days Are Over – Florence + The Machine

In fact I went back and reread every blog I have done in the last year or so. And I can suffice most every post like this “oh wow, got real drunk the other day, come see my play, hope I get a role in this next play, I swear I’m gonna get a job I’m working on it.”

I found that pretty depressing actually. And I need to tell myself yet again that actions speak louder than words and I need to stop making hollow promises.

In other news, I have a had a good few days. Although, my cell phone took a turn for the worse ending up in creek (along with myself). Drunkenly of course.

So I haven’t drank or smoked any cigarettes since the weekend. And perhaps I shouldn’t until Slaughterhouse-5 opens next week.

I have been sleepwalking like crazy. The other day, I tore apart my room moving my bookshelf, pulling out my bed, moving a chair and breaking a lamp. Another time I ended up in my mom’s bed. I don’t know exactly whats causing this right now. But it’s just weird.

I have to run to rehearsa. This play has literally been on my mind 24/7. I feel a little obsessed recently. I just want so much for it to be good. I want to be a part of something that moves people.

This is Sufjan Steven’s Vesuvius

peace

To begin, a great deal of my close friends moved away. I knew it was coming but it has really hit me when I sit at home alone and wonder what I used to do. Ruth lives in Chico, Colleen and Adie live in Humboldt, Victoria Louisville, My friend big black gay Corey moved to Laramie, Wyoming.  Even people like Mike Holcombe have moved to LA. After Matt Marr’s house burnt down he has been traveling and he is now sure he will move to L.A. Needless to say, my social life has taken a hit. I stay in a lot more evenings by myself reading, writing, or watching various marathons of House, Law and Order SVU, or something. I have just been lonely I guess.

My Mom’s car is gold sebring convertible, the symbol of summer, and the car I learned how to drive on. There have been so many times where Ruth, John Farns, and I are hung over and we roll out of bed and drive with the top down to theriver. And drink some 4 Locos. My brother needed a car so we decided to give that one to him. Now my mom and I share the Scion, she needs it more of course having a real job and all… back to the bike for me. :-/

It seems lately that love has been in the air (cheesy yes, but hear me out). So many of my friends are involved with someone and so happy. Max and Amanda, John Farns, Kelsey, Ruth, etc etc. Momentarily I was kinda seeing someone and happy, and for just a moment it seemed everyone was happy. But then of course I found out that I had simply got swept up in ideas of being in a relationship and misinterpreted some things and ended up putting myself in a situation that allowed me to get hurt by others actions. Whatevs, I’m done. I’m single and unattached completely. Time gave me clarity to realize I was being stupid, and I really don’t care. I AM happy for all my friends, I am happy being single Devin, and I am a better person for not dating people who are bad for me. But I do always seem to be the odd man out in these situations. It wears on me a bit.

The cherry on top of my delightful banana shit sundae of a situation I have been in… The one job I have babysitting at a church every Sunday That I have had for 4 years. Such an easy job that I LOVE that is easy money in my pocket….. Well, they laid me off on Sunday. Not because of me at all, they can just not afford child care at all anymore. I have one more

Sunday and that’s it. FUCK. My one source of income. Fuck. My. Life. This is effective September 1st. Why does that day sound familiar? Oh, cause its the day of my court date. (Yes, I have a court date. I got into a little trouble. Hopefully it will be nothing, but it might be. I will disclose the full story after its all said and done. Nothing crazy don’t worry)

My brother looked at my situation like this “so you’re basically back to where you started when you moved to Sacramento, no car, no job, no relationship, few friends” Somehow that is oddly comforting. Something of a new beginning happening right now. Life has dealt me some rotten ass lemons right now, and I am powering through but its hard. I can deal with the no job, no car, no money thing. But it just really sucks that everything has been taken away at the same time. The time I need friends. Who aren’t here.

At the moment, I am not attending school. I would probably set myself back further if I went. I need a job(and I have been applying!)

Right now I am living day at a time with very short term achievable goals. apply for jobs, work out everyday, drink less, and get cast in a play next week. So far so good. I do work out everyday I have a new gym membership and I have been going hard. If nothing else in life I will look good without my shirt on.

I chose the cute apocalypse gif at the top because its really cute and the general complete change of everything in my life recently, and because of Mike Wise’s Post Apocalypse Party he had. Which was awesome. Pictures at the bottom. There is always a lot of parties, this last weekend was Mady Wrights 36 hour birthday party which was fun and…. eventful.

This is a reminder to the world and myself that I am fucking awesome. I do good things and have fun. There are great

people in my life, and I know now more than ever who they are. I have come upon some rough times recently and ya know what? It might get worse, it could always. But I have dealt with way more problems in my life than some little bull shit like this. I’m a baller with some of the best friends, and the BEST family anyone could ask for. Don’t give me your pity, today ain’t nothing but a hair flip. It might be just like this for a long time, but there is peace and some success at the end of this trail. It shouldn’t be easy and its not. Never has been. I have been blessed in many ways that I am quietly thankful for and find myself to sometimes be the luckiest person alive. Lately has just been a string of losses that have warn me down, I have to admit I am down and move on though. I’m not blaming fate or the world for my problems, many of them are direct results of my actions and I know that. I’m down but I’m not out. I’m ready for new shit and prepared to take on whatever I need to. Oh yeah, and I’m hot.

I leave you with another new Eminem song, featuring Pink (whom I fuckin love)

WONT. BACK. DOWN.

Peace.

Her songs are simple pop songs all with the same formula. Staccato repeating multi-syllabic chorus over a sick beat. (”da da do do just dance” “po po po poker face po po poker face” “my my my my telephone” “ally ally jondro ally ally jandro”  “papa paparazzi” and of course “rah rah ah ah ah roma roma ma ma ga ga…” you get it) I love all those songs, but lets not pretend most of them are going to stand the test of time. It’s just flash in the pan pop music. So what do they do? Crazy videos! Make it higher concept than most of your fans can comprehend. Brilliant. Oldest ways in the book to seem cool and prentencious: wear sunglasses all the time and claim that people don’t “get” you. I’m all for high concept videos, and frankly anything that makes people interested in videos again I am for, but overall that’s not what Lady Gaga is doing. The video for Telephone for example is an epic 10 minutes about breaking out of jail and going to kill Beyonce’s boyfriend. …hmmm about that, the song is about your phone ringing while you wanna party. I realize how boring a video about needing to turn your phone off might be, but this?!?!? And Alejandro, A lot of people acted like this was a great political and religious message, and with those lyrics how could it not be? Alejandro isn’t ground breaking. She dances in front of gorgeous ripped tan men who are scantily dressed. WOW, this is crazy! and she kisses them! oh wait, it’s interesting because they are wearing heels…? It’s a cheap Madonna homage rip off trying to be controversial. Kissing black Jesus in the mid 80s with a song called “like a prayer” that’s legit. The fashion can be cool, but its so you will talk about her. If she dressed like Jessica Simpson all the time, no one would fucking care.

Again, I do love Gaga. She has really only put out ONE album. 6 number one hits is nice, but talk to me when you have 6 number 1 CDs (caughBRITNEYcaugh). And we can not just overlook when she puts out legitmately terrible songs and videos…..

Inversely, I think Bad Romance is probably the best video I have seen in a long time. Hopefully my next blog about Gaga will be more positive. haha sorry, usually try to stray from the negativity round here.

P-P-P-PEACE

It has been an eventful couple weeks. As You Like It opened, it has been so fun and a good experience. My brother and sister had their traditional birthday party. They rented out Red Feather winery in Livermore and had about 70 people come. It was a real good time, got to see a lot of people from high school or people I hadn’t seen in like 5 years. It was a trip. Got tipsy and stripped whilst hula hooping. The usual.

My grandma, mom, and I went to the Alameda county fair the next day I discovered my love for betting on horse racing. or maybe just because it reminds me of The Hold Steady song Chips Ahoy. (video sucks though).

My motivation to get a job has been sullied to do my illness, going out of town, being in a play, and having so much terrible television on. I can only blame myself and I do. But I actually have been applying and interviewing for jobs. Some promising prospects.

Other than that I have been going to the river, working on my tan, and making peace with myself. I’m doing a lot better than usual. I feel great. My Mom and Grandma went away for a weekend and it gave me good time to reconnect with Bryce Marck, Matt Marr, and John Farnsworth. One of those times when you just realize why you are friends with certain people and not as much with other people. When it’s sunrise and we all need to get up to go feed horses, and we don’t mind cause were all doing it. Then we pick up a 24 pack of PBR at 7am, naturally.

Love life is what it always is. Really the EXACT SAME. Was thinking about Jeff for a second again, and than no. Again. Frank Fox made his way up here again, and that was nice. But who knows what that could be. Had a crush on someone for once but of course got passed up for a strait guy. Naturally. Back to square one. …Ladies?

I gotta go shower and get for my show tonight… jebus..

Peace

I leave you with Sufjan Steven’s cover of Joni Mitchel’s Free Man In Paris.