DevinRitchie.com

This title sounds so pretencious. I’m sorry.

I’ll suffice it to this; I feel my luck has run out. My foolish reckless abandonment now has consequences, the trial period is over. I have pushed my limits far enough, it’s time I learn and head on back. I have always wanted to go there and back, have a story, have an adventure, but not at the cost of what I could lose. I’m still interesting. I’m still learning.

I’ve been writing a lot, on a typewriter actually. It’s interesting when you just bleed onto the paper with no filter. Therapeutic really. I’m just not sure if any of it is actually good. I might have a few friends read it and give me some feedback before I start posting short stories and poetry here. I’m ascared….

Some good job prospects! Great things coming for Lavish Laines winery! They just bought a new location off Buena Vista and Tesla in Livermore (right next to all the other wineries) so that will be amazing, we are going to open up a tasting room there as well. AND they want me to be their webmaster and get paid. Woot. I just need o find time to get down to Livermore to work on the harvest and get the new winery ready. OH AND I’m getting a couple more babysitting jobs coming in from the bay. All my jobs want me to be in the bay… interesting… Too bad things are starting to conflict with comedy sportz and some other obligations though.

I have had a lot of visitors recently, its nice. Last weekend Colleen came and stayed from Humboldt and Sean came and stayed from Elk Grove. So fun! We had birthday fun early. This weekend Ruth will be here! and there will be more shenanigans. Then next weekend my good old buddy Tim Muldoon will be staying with me for a couple days! He is applying to UC Davis Med School! Love when friends visit me.

Words and Voices went great!!! I got great compliments and it made me feel kinda validated. It really felt like creating art and bringing something to life more than traditional theatre has felt recently. One of the pieces I worked on was called “Jack & Coke” a poem about drunk driving beginning with the wake of the lives after the crash and working its way backwards to the celebration that brought on the accident. It was good for me to do. Between that, generally not driving anymore, and payments that are horrendous. I think I have effectively learned a lesson. I don’t want to hide problems like this, I wear them. In fact, there are TWO articles in my school newspaper coming out this Tuesday featuring me. And in one it will mention my DUI and how I prepared for my play. I have some anxiety about it being printed, but I need it to be so I can move on. The other article is about Cafe Noir, the open mic night I host. And there’s gonna be a picture of me there’s something extremely unfufilling about being in my community college newspaper. Twice. After I have been there for over 4 years. #signIneedtoleave

The good news is that Slaughterhouse-5 has just started rehearsal, and it promises to be ridiculous and very challenging. THANK GOD. It has given me a distinct interest in World War II lately, and I don’t have any interest in wars typically.  I usually don’t even like war movies. But then I found out today talking to my grandma that her father died at age 43 in 1945 in the war. That is right when our play will be set and it made me realize that this is my grandmothers generation. And it is real. I guess I just feel a bit more connected now. So ready to get this shit started!

Birthday month starts today! Still keeping it pretty low key. Just going out and drinking with some friends this weekend. I love my birthday but I need to take it easy and not glorify myself right now, its better for my health. I know it’s bad when I literally am planning a redemption speech to my family at my birthday dinner, I have to shape up. For me and for them. And they need to know that its important and I’m not blowing them off.

Honestly, the reason I have been writing so much lately is because I hope this lifestyle will give me a retirement package in that it should make a good book someday. That’s my ego speaking hoping what I’m doing means something. Hoping that I am important and more than a party kid looking for an escape. I’m still holding out hope, hence I write.

**the picture on top is from Greg Dorado’s going away party, I’m gonna miss him!

peace

I wish I had more optimistic and joyful blogs as of late, but alas, I do not. The universe has been telling me loud and clear that I should have left this year. SPOILER ALERT*** This will be an emo complainy blog. But it gets slightly optimistic/cocky near the end.

To begin, a great deal of my close friends moved away. I knew it was coming but it has really hit me when I sit at home alone and wonder what I used to do. Ruth lives in Chico, Colleen and Adie live in Humboldt, Victoria Louisville, My friend big black gay Corey moved to Laramie, Wyoming.  Even people like Mike Holcombe have moved to LA. After Matt Marr’s house burnt down he has been traveling and he is now sure he will move to L.A. Needless to say, my social life has taken a hit. I stay in a lot more evenings by myself reading, writing, or watching various marathons of House, Law and Order SVU, or something. I have just been lonely I guess.

My Mom’s car is gold sebring convertible, the symbol of summer, and the car I learned how to drive on. There have been so many times where Ruth, John Farns, and I are hung over and we roll out of bed and drive with the top down to theriver. And drink some 4 Locos. My brother needed a car so we decided to give that one to him. Now my mom and I share the Scion, she needs it more of course having a real job and all… back to the bike for me. :-/

It seems lately that love has been in the air (cheesy yes, but hear me out). So many of my friends are involved with someone and so happy. Max and Amanda, John Farns, Kelsey, Ruth, etc etc. Momentarily I was kinda seeing someone and happy, and for just a moment it seemed everyone was happy. But then of course I found out that I had simply got swept up in ideas of being in a relationship and misinterpreted some things and ended up putting myself in a situation that allowed me to get hurt by others actions. Whatevs, I’m done. I’m single and unattached completely. Time gave me clarity to realize I was being stupid, and I really don’t care. I AM happy for all my friends, I am happy being single Devin, and I am a better person for not dating people who are bad for me. But I do always seem to be the odd man out in these situations. It wears on me a bit.

The cherry on top of my delightful banana shit sundae of a situation I have been in… The one job I have babysitting at a church every Sunday That I have had for 4 years. Such an easy job that I LOVE that is easy money in my pocket….. Well, they laid me off on Sunday. Not because of me at all, they can just not afford child care at all anymore. I have one more

Sunday and that’s it. FUCK. My one source of income. Fuck. My. Life. This is effective September 1st. Why does that day sound familiar? Oh, cause its the day of my court date. (Yes, I have a court date. I got into a little trouble. Hopefully it will be nothing, but it might be. I will disclose the full story after its all said and done. Nothing crazy don’t worry)

My brother looked at my situation like this “so you’re basically back to where you started when you moved to Sacramento, no car, no job, no relationship, few friends” Somehow that is oddly comforting. Something of a new beginning happening right now. Life has dealt me some rotten ass lemons right now, and I am powering through but its hard. I can deal with the no job, no car, no money thing. But it just really sucks that everything has been taken away at the same time. The time I need friends. Who aren’t here.

At the moment, I am not attending school. I would probably set myself back further if I went. I need a job(and I have been applying!)

Right now I am living day at a time with very short term achievable goals. apply for jobs, work out everyday, drink less, and get cast in a play next week. So far so good. I do work out everyday I have a new gym membership and I have been going hard. If nothing else in life I will look good without my shirt on.

I chose the cute apocalypse gif at the top because its really cute and the general complete change of everything in my life recently, and because of Mike Wise’s Post Apocalypse Party he had. Which was awesome. Pictures at the bottom. There is always a lot of parties, this last weekend was Mady Wrights 36 hour birthday party which was fun and…. eventful.

This is a reminder to the world and myself that I am fucking awesome. I do good things and have fun. There are great

people in my life, and I know now more than ever who they are. I have come upon some rough times recently and ya know what? It might get worse, it could always. But I have dealt with way more problems in my life than some little bull shit like this. I’m a baller with some of the best friends, and the BEST family anyone could ask for. Don’t give me your pity, today ain’t nothing but a hair flip. It might be just like this for a long time, but there is peace and some success at the end of this trail. It shouldn’t be easy and its not. Never has been. I have been blessed in many ways that I am quietly thankful for and find myself to sometimes be the luckiest person alive. Lately has just been a string of losses that have warn me down, I have to admit I am down and move on though. I’m not blaming fate or the world for my problems, many of them are direct results of my actions and I know that. I’m down but I’m not out. I’m ready for new shit and prepared to take on whatever I need to. Oh yeah, and I’m hot.

I leave you with another new Eminem song, featuring Pink (whom I fuckin love)

WONT. BACK. DOWN.

Peace.

Been an interesting couple of weeks. A lot of my friends have been out of town, Farnsy has been in Oregon for a couple weeks (and he came 3rd in a 10k race!), Colleen is officially gone to Humboldt, Matt Marr is in fuckin’ Montana or something, and generally everyone is busy. Which leaves me saying “where are my friends?”. That’s something I’m going to have to get used to as most really are leaving pretty soon. My social scene has evolved and I am significantly less involved, and that is fine. People grow up and away and at the very least everyone leaving our little nest gives me less to stay for.

Naturally I have been trying to get out of Sacramento, even if its for little trips. I did a Comedy Sportz show in Richmond (…for the free masons) and then partied in San Francisco with John Michals. Got a Beer with Steven Zupan, drank with Ryan Fiola, then ran into Paul Telford at some bars. Good to get out of town. I went again just to hang out with Maggie and Tim Muldoon. All we ever do is drink, play wii golf, and Maggie and I sing “Islands in the Stream” real loud over and over to annoy Tim. It was lovely. Then had a cute dinner party with my sister. Good relaxing few days that has me thinking about the future. Plans are being formulated and discussed with my family. I don’t want to divulge anything until I am sure. But know this: There will be a move soon in my future. A big one.

I went to an open casting call for Survivor last week. Got interviewed on camera and picture taken. It’s a long shot but we shall see Fingers crossed. That would be so Awesome!

I have been reading and being able to focus on goals recently (crazy right???). Each blog sounds like a rerun, “things are changing, blah blah blah, I need to get a job, I went to a party and drank, etc” But I’m not sorry, you’re at devinritchie.com you dont get to complain about about content.

OH!!! Speaking of DevinRitchie.com, our 5th anniversary is August 1st! What should I do for it??

Here’s some pictures Bryce took from a few weeks ago when we all went out to Lipstick at Old Ironsides

Just got over a ridiculous week of having the stomach flu. So bad. went 4 days without eating, 5 days without drinking, smoking, or social interaction. A well needed break. But NO ONE needs to watch as much America’s Next Top Model as I have seen. Tragic. I had to better by Friday to do my show, and I was mostly.

It has been an eventful couple weeks. As You Like It opened, it has been so fun and a good experience. My brother and sister had their traditional birthday party. They rented out Red Feather winery in Livermore and had about 70 people come. It was a real good time, got to see a lot of people from high school or people I hadn’t seen in like 5 years. It was a trip. Got tipsy and stripped whilst hula hooping. The usual.

My grandma, mom, and I went to the Alameda county fair the next day I discovered my love for betting on horse racing. or maybe just because it reminds me of The Hold Steady song Chips Ahoy. (video sucks though).

My motivation to get a job has been sullied to do my illness, going out of town, being in a play, and having so much terrible television on. I can only blame myself and I do. But I actually have been applying and interviewing for jobs. Some promising prospects.

Other than that I have been going to the river, working on my tan, and making peace with myself. I’m doing a lot better than usual. I feel great. My Mom and Grandma went away for a weekend and it gave me good time to reconnect with Bryce Marck, Matt Marr, and John Farnsworth. One of those times when you just realize why you are friends with certain people and not as much with other people. When it’s sunrise and we all need to get up to go feed horses, and we don’t mind cause were all doing it. Then we pick up a 24 pack of PBR at 7am, naturally.

Love life is what it always is. Really the EXACT SAME. Was thinking about Jeff for a second again, and than no. Again. Frank Fox made his way up here again, and that was nice. But who knows what that could be. Had a crush on someone for once but of course got passed up for a strait guy. Naturally. Back to square one. …Ladies?

I gotta go shower and get for my show tonight… jebus..

Peace

I leave you with Sufjan Steven’s cover of Joni Mitchel’s Free Man In Paris.

My adorable cousin Mira

Howdy dear readers, another long week. Reno, parties, family visiting, LOST ending. [OMG]

I want to first discuss the response of my last blog. It was mostly positive and supportive. Thank you, it means a lot that many of can even sit through my long winded ramblings. But the main complaint with my blog is that writing or talking about something doesn’t fix anything. I’m basically just whiny. I disagree completely. This is step one. This is therapy this is diary. This is what helps me.

Last week my theatre celebrated its end of the year ball, I was awarded “Best Supporting Actor” (sort of a conciliation prize instead of winning one of the Irene Ryan nominations, oh well) and Best Drunk… On Stage” How appropriate. A lot of fun drinking and dancing with the masquerade theme. But then the rest of my night, with the help of Gerald (what we call the bag from boxed wine) and Matt Marr, was serious drunken shenanigans, which resulted in me missing the only work I have in a week. Haven’t done that in nearly a year. I did learn a lesson that night.

My friends who are legitimately moving on from school felt like clubbing, so of course I am there. Drinks, flirting, dancing, and smoking. I starting losing my voice very badly. A few days of partying, a lack of sleep, and breathing air in Reno turned my voice into something of a gutteral gravely lawnmower sound, which I assure you was not sexy. The Reno trip was a success, managed to only spend $20 on the whole trip. It was my friend Colton’s 21st birthday. Colton, Max, James, Colleen and I just walked around drank and danced wearing sunglasses everywhere looking like bad asses for  2 days. I did start to get pretty sick and my voice was completely gone for a time, but what was I suppose to do? I still had to be there for another day, and god save me from Reno whilst sober. Everyone had a great time, but it is decided… I am a Vegas guy.

When I look back on my week, the best part of was playing with my 18 month old cousin Mira (well, cousin’s daughter… second cousin?). We played with bubbles, drew with chalk, and mostly she just chased me and played “sleepy sleep” (thats when she says “sleepy sleep”, and we pretend to be asleep for like 5 seconds.) Out of all the “fun” I had drinking and clubbing this week, this was the most genuine fun. I love children and I am super good with them. But it’s fleeting, at this age they will hardly remember me and when she is 10 I will be 30. And we wont play together anymore. This happened to too many people for me, and its the burden of being younger in an older family.  What I’m saying is that I do long for having children in my life, lets hope for being the fun uncle Devin first. Not too soon…

I have a desperate need to find a job now. Having my own earned money in my pocket will help my perspective. That is this weeks goal. Haven’t even drank or smoked in a few days and I feel better. Crazy huh? Yay me. The past few days I have done nothing, just rehabd at home and played sleepy sleep by myself. and that what I needed. Hibernation.

I have been realizing more and more that anyone can read this. And I have stopped being discrete. Which is kind of empowering actually. I don’t mean to do this for shock value, but to be true to myself. But seeing my hits increase back to the hundreds gives me anxiety. But again I thank you all so much for coming and reading.

Now the reason you are all here I’m sure…

CUTE BABY PICTURES!!!!

(I didn’t edit them, so the Mira files are huge, might take a minute to load)

peace

I will blog about LOST real soon!!