My birthday came and went, much less celebration, just one drunken weekend that lingered for about a weekend a half. I went out to bars, went to house parties, saw plays, took jello shots, drank so much 4Loko, and acted a fool generally and sprayed champagne on people. I mean, what else is expected of me on my birthday?

It was fine, I didn’t even want to acknowledge it this year, but my family and friends refused, and I obliged.  I made a half assed drunken attempt to make a speech to my immediate family telling them I am going to get my act together. I knew it was bad once I started paralleling my life to Thomas The Tank Engine. Sometimes I need to remember to shut up, and that actions speak louder than words.

Have been working on Slaughterhouse-5, it has been casual and fun. But it is high time we get down and dirty and kick this plays ass. We open in less than a month. It could be so good.

I have been working on Lavish Laines Winery and their website. Why not go get added to the mailing list eh?? Hopefully the more work and money will be flowing in soon.

After my elongated birthday celebration, I had to take a break from drinking my body literally couldn’t take it anymore. I have just given it a couple days, and besides a slight case of RMD (Reno Mouth Disease) I am better.

Dating life is the exact same as ever. Remember how I was sorta seeing Jeff again? Yeah, not so much. Once I realized I was getting ignored I called him out, and he said he was confused and that he also like this other guy. But told me not to worry and that we would hang out that week…. Not so much. He’s just dating the other guy, who is hard of hearing and they are both fluent in ASL, and I “wouldnt get it”. But at the very least I saw him out one night and we talked and I got to yell at him, a pleasure I don’t always get to have. This also gave me enough time to start seeing this guy named Travis, but he “just wants to be single right now”. It actually does get easier the more this happens, I hardly even care anymore.

But in a way I’m glad, I have not been going out, drinking, or doing much of anything besides designing, going to class, and rehearsing. Well, and of course watching an obscene amount of Law & Order: SVU. But that’s just the usual. So generally I have been keeping out of trouble for a little while and it seems to do a body good.

I’ll suffice it to this; I feel my luck has run out. My foolish reckless abandonment now has consequences, the trial period is over. I have pushed my limits far enough, it’s time I learn and head on back. I have always wanted to go there and back, have a story, have an adventure, but not at the cost of what I could lose. I’m still interesting. I’m still learning.

I’ve been writing a lot, on a typewriter actually. It’s interesting when you just bleed onto the paper with no filter. Therapeutic really. I’m just not sure if any of it is actually good. I might have a few friends read it and give me some feedback before I start posting short stories and poetry here. I’m ascared….

Some good job prospects! Great things coming for Lavish Laines winery! They just bought a new location off Buena Vista and Tesla in Livermore (right next to all the other wineries) so that will be amazing, we are going to open up a tasting room there as well. AND they want me to be their webmaster and get paid. Woot. I just need o find time to get down to Livermore to work on the harvest and get the new winery ready. OH AND I’m getting a couple more babysitting jobs coming in from the bay. All my jobs want me to be in the bay… interesting… Too bad things are starting to conflict with comedy sportz and some other obligations though.

I have had a lot of visitors recently, its nice. Last weekend Colleen came and stayed from Humboldt and Sean came and stayed from Elk Grove. So fun! We had birthday fun early. This weekend Ruth will be here! and there will be more shenanigans. Then next weekend my good old buddy Tim Muldoon will be staying with me for a couple days! He is applying to UC Davis Med School! Love when friends visit me.

Words and Voices went great!!! I got great compliments and it made me feel kinda validated. It really felt like creating art and bringing something to life more than traditional theatre has felt recently. One of the pieces I worked on was called “Jack & Coke” a poem about drunk driving beginning with the wake of the lives after the crash and working its way backwards to the celebration that brought on the accident. It was good for me to do. Between that, generally not driving anymore, and payments that are horrendous. I think I have effectively learned a lesson. I don’t want to hide problems like this, I wear them. In fact, there are TWO articles in my school newspaper coming out this Tuesday featuring me. And in one it will mention my DUI and how I prepared for my play. I have some anxiety about it being printed, but I need it to be so I can move on. The other article is about Cafe Noir, the open mic night I host. And there’s gonna be a picture of me there’s something extremely unfufilling about being in my community college newspaper. Twice. After I have been there for over 4 years. #signIneedtoleave

The good news is that Slaughterhouse-5 has just started rehearsal, and it promises to be ridiculous and very challenging. THANK GOD. It has given me a distinct interest in World War II lately, and I don’t have any interest in wars typically.  I usually don’t even like war movies. But then I found out today talking to my grandma that her father died at age 43 in 1945 in the war. That is right when our play will be set and it made me realize that this is my grandmothers generation. And it is real. I guess I just feel a bit more connected now. So ready to get this shit started!

Birthday month starts today! Still keeping it pretty low key. Just going out and drinking with some friends this weekend. I love my birthday but I need to take it easy and not glorify myself right now, its better for my health. I know it’s bad when I literally am planning a redemption speech to my family at my birthday dinner, I have to shape up. For me and for them. And they need to know that its important and I’m not blowing them off.

Honestly, the reason I have been writing so much lately is because I hope this lifestyle will give me a retirement package in that it should make a good book someday. That’s my ego speaking hoping what I’m doing means something. Hoping that I am important and more than a party kid looking for an escape. I’m still holding out hope, hence I write.

**the picture on top is from Greg Dorado’s going away party, I’m gonna miss him!

peace

Okay, more about me… I have been working super hard on Words & Voices and it’s kinda awesome. Really felt like I contributed to the project. Only 3 days people, and only $5. Come on. Please?

Been applying at more jobs, I’m sure blue hair will help that immensely. haha, well maybe, I applied at Hot Topic. I’m a sell out. whateva.

And Slaughterhouse-5 starts next week AND AND AND

ITS MY BIRTHDAY NEXT SUNDAY OCTOBER 3rd!!

I know I sounded a little dismayed about it earlier, but I don’t care. I LOVE my birthday. My mom is taking me to get hella new clothes. woot. Still no big plans. And I’m pretty cool with that.

On another note, I went on a real date this week! With a familiar face no less. Jeff, oh yes Jeff. You guys remember? This guy ——>

We dated for like a second about a year ago, off and off and on and then off again. Schedules really never allowed us. So we talked and he took me out on a real date (paid and everything, I know right?) and we have hung out the past three nights, and it kinda seems like its working this time. We shall see where this goes.

For the moment, everything seems to be going a little better, done with work project, show is opening tonight, enjoying my design class, no drama, and I have sweet ass blue hair! Now if someone will just hire me….

Peace

It feels nice to have things to do again, much better than the blank summer schedule I had. With so much time on my hands I get into trouble. Work projects are not so much fun, I do my best Jason Stackhouse impression in my orange vest trying to be sexy, but when you are on an white bus with a cop driving, and full of miscreants. You don’t feel great about yourself. Good job system, you effectively work.

I have been applying for jobs and so far nothing, I have reached the point of having so little pride that I am about to apply at the Del Taco a block from my house. Something I told myself I would never do for egotistical reasons. But I have reached the breaking point.

My birthday is coming up, October 3rd. I always go huge for my birthday. ALWAYS. 21 was Las Vegas, 22 was lovefest in San Francisco, and I have at least had a huge party for each birthday. But this year I am not in the mood to celebrate myself, seems selfish and vain. I don’t expect anything from my family, giving all they have done for me. And I always break or lose nice things anyways. I can tell my mom doesn’t want to do anything for my birthday. Since I’m not in the mood why do anything? Tradition? Another reason to drink and party? I don’t have the will for it to be about me anymore. Right now I think I will generally not acknowledge my birthday. Maybe I’ll drink a 4 Loco and sit in a parking lot with a couple friends somewhere. This depresses me yes. But I don’t deserve anymore than that.

Back to business.

This is the show that has been taking up all my time. I am really committed to it. Come support NEW THEATRE. please. Next weekend!

The Ritchie Kids

Yay, my sister finally emailed me the pictures from my 22nd birthday. My family and I went to San Francisco for lovefest. We got a hotel. Partied.  The usual. Sean Kinsey, Max Miller, Paul Telford, Terri Brindisi, and Chris Carlson all partied with us. It was ten shades of amazing. We went to lovefest during the day, got some good seafood in the wharf, partied in our hotel, and then walked around the city being drunken fools and ending up at nok nok in the Haight. Dancing my face off. Then the next day we all went to the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival in Golden Gate park.

Enjoy ^_^

peace