DevinRitchie.com

Hey guys! Another month or so down in New York. I had my birthday, finished another class at UCB and worked a bunch, and then I realized something… I have been here for 6 months! WTF?! and I have been at my job for 5 months. How did this happen?

I have really been settling in to my life here, I am no longer “new” and have no excuses. This is kinda scary. I have real regular customers at work and I have some real friends and I have a daily routine and a regular commute everyday.

Everything isn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, I did lose my wallet, which had all my identification in it. and it has been a BITCH to get back. Apparently owning devinritchie.com and having an expired passport isn’t proof enough. So this all sucks and it just takes time to gets all the ducks in a row to finally get an ID. but it is being resolved.

I think this, and the cold weather, was sort of a catalyst for what felt like I was unraveling for a couple weeks. I was depressed. I was messing up simple tasks at work and not acting like myself. I was getting wasted after work and pretty continuously on my days off. This town started getting to me. 6 months of hustling. Buying/building furniture, finding a job/ working/ taking classes/ seeing shows/ studying/ trying to see new york/ trying to make friends/ remembering to eat/ paying bills/ trying to keep myself sane/ and then calling friends and family to tell them these things. Spending my days off at the social security office to no avail just does something to a person. There was one day I really thought I was going to get fired and I was like “did I just lose my wallet, my job, and get dumped in the span of a few weeks?!?”. Luckily I didn’t get fired. more of a wake up call to my unraveling. and I didn’t actually lose any money in my wallet, and I already have a new credit card, its just this ID thing now. It can be fixed.

I think I just needed a break. Not that I have had it. But I feel like I am out of the woods and back to sanity. Its times like this I’m reminded that I am just the emotionally stunted 13 year old I have always been. Now I just have a job and bank account.

Heres the good news, I’m visiting home this Sunday- Thursday! I was scared and hesitant to come back. Even for a little trip. I feel like I built a house of cards here and I cant leave it for even a second. And part of me doesn’t think I have accomplished enough to come home yet, like I’m not done yet. But I do miss people real hard. I miss California. Do you guys know how cold it is here already?!? It fucking SNOWED on Halloween. I dont even have proper shoes for that! And its gonna get wayyy colder im told. I want to be in California wearing a t shirt and shorts. I want to drive real bad.

Anyways, I wil be in Sacramento those days mostly with the family but I want to see you! yes all of you!

this blog got weird and personal. oops.

Oh yeah, and me and maggie were dolly parton and kenny rodgers for halloween. Islands in the stream. my tits had speakers in them and played the song. (It played nine to five while I was at work… yes I went to work like that… dont bartend in heels.)